To be clear, I'm a huge fan of natural consequences. And so if what I am doing is calmly explaining the order of events, then I usually feel okay about how things are going.
However, there's the other kind of threat. The one that bursts out when I'm frustrated and want to control my kid. And this is where the mindfulness part comes in. Only I really know when I'm simply explaining the consequences, as in, "If you don't want to pick up your toys, I'll put them in the clean up bag and put them in the closet." Or trying to control my daughter, "If you don't take a rest you wont be able to go to the birthday party this afternoon." (I am cringing as I write this. It's all too familiar to me.)
The problem with using threats to control is that it usually backfires. As in: Wait, what did I just say? No birthday party? But I want my kid to go to the party this afternoon. I need the time to work on my presentation
Long ago I learned to not threaten anything I'm not willing to follow through on. Not only does it not work, I'd just end up looking stupid and feeling like a failure.
So, what to do instead? Especially when it's something that just HAS to get done. When my kid was little (and even now on a rare occasion) I would use the Magic 5. I would offer my daughter a choice, "You can put your shoes on yourself, or I can do it for you. I'm going to count to five and then I'm going to help you get your shoes on." And then I would slowly count, making sure to give her plenty of time to weigh her options. I have to confess, I rarely got past 3, but when I did get to 5 I would gently, without much explanation, move to help her get her shoes on.
If this is a new strategy for you, you may find that your kiddo will test you to see if you are really going to follow through or not. It may take a week or so of really following through to help your child understand that things are a little different.
And if you child is a bit older you might decide, in a moment of calm, to have a SHORT conversation about how things have been (empty threats, or not following through) and what you are going to do differently for 10 days. Think of it as a little experiment. See what happens. Let me know.