In my head I was already dreading the next few days. Sleeping on the ground. Schlepping food and kitchen gear to unpack it at a picnic table. No shower. Port-a-potty. Remind me why I thought this would be fun.
The traffic getting out of town is terrible. On the brighter side, my daughter falls asleep in the back seat for most of the ride. I can feel the tightness in my body. I am too stressed out for this to be fun.
Then we get there. The usual Rocky Mountain Campground. Evergreens and aspen trees. I set up the tent while friends build a fire and cook sausages. By the time the tent is up and gear is stowed, a beautiful salad appears. It is getting dark. We eat dinner holding our plates on our laps, sitting in our camping chairs. Afterwards, we roast marshmallows.
Exhausted, we all mumble good night and fall into our sleeping bags. I spend most of the night tossing and turning, trying to find a comfortable position.
Morning. My kid wakes up and bounds out of the tent to find her friends. They practice being free-range kids. I stumble out of the tent to do my usual morning routine. Yoga, with the early morning sun on my face. Sitting meditation, contemplating the beauty all around me.
And then I remember why I love to go camping. The simplicity. No cell phones or computers. I hear the kids laughing as they run by. Out in nature I can reconnect with who I am. I don't have to listen to the voice in my head that constantly reminds me that I'm not good enough. I can let go of the judgment that keeps me stressed and unhappy.
I'm sorry. I know that you and I are meant to spend more time together. I forget. I lose track of how important you are for my sanity. I'm so glad that we had a chance to reconnect this weekend. Let's make a date to do it again soon.